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Messages - cacabish

#16
Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 29, 2023, 05:45:10 PM
  • I think in this sheet, when you have 8th+8th rest it would be better off as staccato quarter notes? I'm getting 'short, but not too short vibes rather than 'hold exactly an eighth then release exactly an eighth'. Up to you though, that's just my 2 cents
Yeah, I can see that and I think it's a decent enough idea, however, I do like the consistency across the eighth notes. Besides, then I'm kinda using staccatos just for length instead of length+articulation. So, I think I prefer the eighths.

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 29, 2023, 05:45:10 PM
  • m3 and similar: I don't hear beat 2.5 as staccato
  • m4 and similar: beat 1 doesnt sound staccato either
Yep, simple enough fixes! :)

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 29, 2023, 05:45:10 PM
  • maybe it's better to use legato 8ths and staccato quarters for the bass? though it does lose some snappiness...
Same as above and I kinda like the snappy bass, especially in this arabeseque-style music.

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 29, 2023, 05:45:10 PM
  • The 16th triplets would look neater as mordents IMO, what do you think?
At this speed, mordents and 16th triplets are basically equivalent, but I (personally) like the look of a slick triplet thrown in amongst eighth notes. It really grabs your attention and makes you appreciate the rhythm over a mordent. It definitely gives a piece more character. That's just my personal preference.

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 29, 2023, 05:45:10 PM
  • m25-33: Since the tonal center kinda shifts to F here for a few measures, it makes more sense to use Gb and Db in this section than F# and C#. You'll notice the melody follows more logical steps as a result, too
Oooh, yeah, that's a great idea! That definitely cleans up a lot! The reason I didn't go for it is because F# is the 3rd of D, which is the V here, and is commonly used throughout, so I was mostly focusing on that.

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 29, 2023, 05:45:10 PM
  • m33 and m36 sound a bit bare in parts, compared to what's going on in the original. For m33, you could add a low Db at beat 1 and a low Bb at beat 3, maybe? and for m36 a low Bb at beat 3.
Ehhh, perhaps so. Personally, I'm not the biggest fan of trying to cram every last note into every beat. And given that this section is like the sweeping sands with the rise and falls and more legato compared to the bouncy A section, I think leaving off layers allows for that to shine. However, if you think there would be great benefit from adding on extra bits there, I can pursue that.

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 29, 2023, 05:45:10 PM
  • m39: I hear an Eb at beat 2.75 in the low LH layer
Hmmm, I'm not hearing that. And I'm going to plead that makes it inconsistent as m43 mirrors m39 and it doesn't have it either (as far as I can tell).

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 29, 2023, 05:45:10 PM
  • System spacing: 4-4-4 systems per page, instead of 5-5-2?
Yeah, that's a good idea. If I'm going to use 3 pages, I might as well own the 3 pages. Thanks for the tip!

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 29, 2023, 05:45:10 PM
  • For the time signature, I'm hearing 2/2 rather than 4/4, how about you?
I still have no idea what's the significant difference between 2/2 and 4/4 other than speed and marching... kinda? And this meets the speed requirement. I do also admit it'd be easier to conduct this in 2 instead of 4, particularly at this tempo, so I think that's probably enough justification to make it 2/2. Thanks! I've also updated the tempo marking to a half note (I often forget to make that change)

---
Alright, I think that's everything! Thanks for all the feedback, Xiao! :D And sorry it took me so long to respond; I was occupied prepping for a guest math lecture at my local college and I decided to program my PowerPoint (looked amazing, but took like 20-30 hours of work). File is updated!
#17
Quote from: Bloop on October 21, 2023, 06:48:53 AMIt's the trumpet parts that play on beat 2 and 2.5, and on beat 4. The exact height seems to be G4 and Db5 on beats 2 and 2.5, and G4 and D5 on beat 4. Moving these exact pitches a few octaves down does sound a bit weird though, so that's why I wasn't as sure about actually implementing them :p I'll leave it up to you!
Okay, yeah, I can hear them now. :P They're definitely faint and those specific octaves are not good with overlapping the melody line. However, I decided to go with a C#3-G3 that then resolves to a D3-G3. I tried the G3-C#4 inversion, but it feels too high when you'd want something bass-y, so I think this is a good compromise. The dissonance meter did just pump up an extra layer or two (since we've now got a tritone), but I think it add some personality and this whole piece is a Bowser Mario Party board affair of circus-y, chaotic, and crazy, so I think it fits. Plus I plonked it out on a keyboard and it sounds fine and easy enough to play, definitely not overbearing.

Let me know what you think! Thanks again, Bloop! :D
#18
Quote from: Bloop on October 18, 2023, 06:40:54 AM-m6: Maybe you could write beat 3 as F# major (so F# in the L.H., F#-A# in the R.H.)? It might mirror the movement of m1 a bit, but in major instead of minor. I'll put that in.
Yeah, that's a fair point. I guess another advantage is it keeps the Gs always Gn throughout, so that'll save a bit on courtesy accidentals.
Quote from: Bloop on October 18, 2023, 06:40:54 AM-m7: Maybe you could write beat 3 L.H. as an Ab: there's not really a clear chord here, but Ab-Eb-Bb is a nice pile of perfect 5ths. Also, you could add a slur on beat 4 to beat 1 of m8 in the L.H.
That's also a decent enough idea. It's hard with all this dissonance and "non-chord"-iness for me to decide on accidentals, but I suppose this also works and, unlike my choice, which was primarily chosen for parallel's sake, I think this one's got a bit more going for it. The slur is good too. Done!
Quote from: Bloop on October 18, 2023, 06:40:54 AM-m8: Maybe you could move the quintuplet in beat 4 an octave down, so it ends cleanly on the G instead of suddenly jumping down a 7th.
I was actually debating that originally, but I wasn't sure. Anyway, since you brought it up, I'll happily adjust it! :)
Quote from: Bloop on October 18, 2023, 06:40:54 AM-m9-11: The L.H. seems to be staying on Eb on beat 3-4, instead of the C#-D movement.
Not sure how I missed that, but you're right! Fixed that.
Quote from: Bloop on October 18, 2023, 06:40:54 AMAlso, I think I'm hearing C#'s instead of D's on beat 2 and 2.5, which resolve to D's on beat 4, but I'm not sure how well that translates to piano lol.
Mmmmm, I'm not hearing that. They seem pretty clearly Ds on my end (when I plonk Ds on my keyboard, they blend in, whereas C#'s don't) and I'm not exactly sure the rest of what you're talking about. I could be mistaken, but I'll just leave it as-is for now.

Thanks Bloop for the feedback! As always, it's greatly appreciated. Let me know of other changes you have in mind! :D
#19
Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 06, 2023, 09:22:50 AMfwiw this is a transcribed version of what I'm hearing at m34 (I think just having the Eb down an octave on beat 1 would work fine)
Ohhhhhhhhhh, this is an upper voice. I though it was a voice between the melody and bass and couldn't find anything. And, with that bit of revelation, a bit of transformation and I can hear m34 as you wrote it. That said, I still couldn't hear m33 very well. Eventually, I transcribed it to a completely different key in Audacity and that, I guess, allowed my brain to pick up on it as the tonal quality of the original key isn't very good (on my recording, at least). So, yeah! You were right! I can now add them more confidently, and so I have. Thanks for your patience, Kricketune! :D
#20
Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 03, 2023, 07:20:56 AMOh I forgot/didn't realize that! I think of you and MuseScore from the guide haha
Just trying to appeal to the greatest common denominator by going to the lowest possible :P
also pain and suffering build character but I think I've built enough character

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 03, 2023, 07:20:56 AMI think you did forget beat 3.5 for m6 though as far as removing the staccato
Herp derp. Missed that one. Good catch! :)

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 03, 2023, 07:20:56 AM• Listening again to m33 the RH F# is actually an Fn. It also doesn't sound tied to me in m34, but rather the lower layer RH note is an Eb
Okay, I've listened to that section so many times now and with so many modifications and I just cannot hear it. :/ It also doesn't make much sense to me, as an Fn would create a Major 7th sound when they're trying to frame jumping around major chords. The Eb makes even less sense as it's incredibly out of place for F# major and it produces an Ebm sound, which is not exactly what it sounds like to me. I may just be up in the night, but I can't confidently add it when I can't hear even the slightest hint of it.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 03, 2023, 07:20:56 AM• m38 RH you could alternatively remove the tie and current lower layer, have an Fn half note on beat 1-2, and have a restrike of the Eb on beat 3 (under the G). I guess you could just remove second layer and add mentioned notes below the melody line instead
Again, not hearing the Fn, but I get the motion idea -- I'm just not sure it's there. However, the Eb restrike makes a lot of sense as it's basically there when I listen to it again, so I'll at least put that in for now.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 03, 2023, 07:20:56 AM• m42 RH lower layer actually plays a slightly different rhythm:
Yep, I think you've got that one. It's hard because there's a lot of easing in on a lot of these rhythms. Not enough to be worth notating, but enough to be painful to find the beats and which one they align to. Thanks!

Alright, I've made my changes and updated the file. Thanks Kricketune! :D If you have more insights on my auditory shortcomings, do let me know!
#21
Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 01, 2023, 08:17:25 PM• m2 the trill is a little low and collides with the notes, not sure if you can see this in notepad?
Oops. I just forgot to format it. Derp. (And I don't use Finale Notepad for arranging much these days, so I see it there in full Finale)

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 01, 2023, 08:17:25 PM• Also m2 RH I am hearing an F# below the D as opposed to an A. Obviously can't trill F# and G, but it technically would be more accurate to also have the F# or F# instead of A
Yeah, accuracy is better here, so I agree with this. I think I went with the A because it's held whereas, as you said, the F# and G are impossible to trill, but I can't remember.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 01, 2023, 08:17:25 PM• m6 LH this recurring rhythm, for beats 2.5-3.5, these sound like they are full lenght and not staccattoed
• m14 LH beat 3 is F, 4 is F#, and I don't think they're staccato length. Similiarly, m46 LH 3-4 are also full length notes (same notes)
Yeah, I think I went with the staccatos just for uniformity, but I agree with these changes!

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 01, 2023, 08:17:25 PM• m22 RH lower layer 2.0 is an F not G
• m31 RH sounds like you could have a lower RH layer - on beat 3 I hear a C of half note length come in
Yep! Both of those are good :)

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 01, 2023, 08:17:25 PM• m41 RH lower layer first three notes sound like D-Eb-D to me as opposed to Eb-F-Eb
I struggled with this for a looooong time, but I think you're correct here. Fixed!

Alright, that should be everything! Files are updated! Thanks for the feedback, Kricketune! (●'◡'●)
#22
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 29, 2023, 12:47:53 PMInferno!

• m7 LH Ab instead of G#?
Hmmm, maybe... I chose it for a nice parallel structure with the previous measure. So you get a Gn => Gb and then the next measure goes Gn => G#, which I think looks nice. That said, I'm not sure if there's a tonal reason to choose Ab that supersedes my judgement, that's just my reasoning, so I'll leave it for now.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 29, 2023, 12:47:53 PM• Slur between m7 and m8 would look a little better flipped upwards.
• m8 RH 4.0 I hear a F# and Cn here that you could add
• m10 grace notes that are 2 or more notes long should usually be written as 16ths instead of 8ths
Yup! All great suggestions and all have been implemented. :D

Thanks for the feedback, Kricketune! The Inferno! file has been updated.
#23
Cutting it super close, but I made it! :)
Gotta roll with my cliché Mario Party for this project. I've been working on "Spiny Desert" for a couple years, so I'm happy to finally finish it and send it through! :D


"Spiny Desert"
[N64] Mario Party 3
[MUSX]



Now, as a possible second sheet, here's one from Mario Party 7! If Spiny Desert is too much, I'll retract this submission and just send it through normally.

"Inferno!"
[GCN] Mario Party 7
[MUSX]

#24
Thank you Maelstrom for everything you've done over the years!! Definitely Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy Trails into Reverie when it comes out tomorrow! ☕

Thanks as well to Static! I know you've been a massive help for my arranging over the years, and for that, I am grateful! Enjoy your time in the shadows! :D

And congrats to Atcero and Jake on becoming moderators! Just don't let it go to your heads, alright? ;)
#25
Quote from: Latios212 on May 27, 2023, 07:04:38 PMThe main thing I would mention is that in m. 30, you strongly imply that the left hand should play the middle layer after the first note, whereas I think beat 2.5 (and maybe 3) would be easier for the right hand to take to avoid a large jump in the left hand from beat 2. Beat 4.5 might be better off with the right hand too to lead into the next measure. It's easy enough for the performer to decide what they want to do, but you could cross-staff similar to the other surrounding measures.
Definitely a good point and definitely flows better, plus, it gets rid of the LH lines! :D
Alright, I've modified m.30. I think everywhere else is good now. Thanks Latios!
#26
Quote from: Latios212 on May 21, 2023, 04:09:49 PMJust one correction to point out: Last two LH notes of m. 11 should be A and E (same as m. 15, different from m. 9).
Huh. Good catch! How did I miss that? Alright, that should be fixed! :)

Quote from: Latios212 on May 21, 2023, 04:09:49 PMEverything else looks good! Though I would like to raise some food for thought. The final section is fine as you have it, but could be simplified a lot by lowering the middle layer arpeggios an octave and playing them with the left hand past beat 2 (or even past beat 1) -
You cannot view this attachment.
It'd help the melody stand out more and make the whole sheet rather easy to play. Don't need to go and overhaul everything, but just something to think about!
Hmmm, a very interesting idea! While I definitely agree it would greatly simplify things, I think it would lose too much in other key areas. Main things being (a) I don't consider the organ's melody as all that "stand-out-ish"; it's there and it's different, but, in my opinion, it's not center stage and the main focus is how it complements the guitars, so dropping the arpeggiating guitar an octave makes it stand out too much. In other words, I feel that the interweaving, interplay, and complementing nature between the organ and the arpeggiating guitar is the central focus of this section, not just the organ's melody. And (b) it's clear that m26-33 are just m18-25 with an organ on top, so dropping the arpeggiating guitar an octave breaks that link between the two sections, whereas now, whilst it's kinda messy, still shows that parallelism in the music, which I think does the original more justice. So, in summary, I think it's a great idea! I just think that it's not as applicable for this part. :)

However, I have changed a couple of the cross-staff beamings in m.29-33 to try to make it more clear what hand does what and trying to minimize RH movement as much as possible, so definitely give that a once over before accepting! Thanks Latios for the great input! :D
#27
Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 27, 2023, 09:37:05 AMI think brackets would work better here than cross-staff beams, but to be honest you can leave it as is (since it's playable) and let the performer decide what to do on their own, to avoid adding unnecessary clutter.
Yeah, that's pretty much my mentality at this point. I had a whole bunch of brackets at one point, but it was definitely kinda cluttery, so I just made it so the worst offending notes were hit, so I'll leave it like this for now.

Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 27, 2023, 09:37:05 AMThe point with m1 I agree with, but the last measure does look a bit lonely.. Personally I would go with 3 measures on every system on page 2, but it's up to you really
Not a bad idea, however, the problem with I have with that is that it blends the two phrases together (m.18-25 and m.26-34), with no discernable break between them. Here, when the organ comes in on m.26 and the phrase is added upon, it happens naturally at the start of a system, signaling the transition and there's a nice visual separation between the two parts. So, I'll just roll with what I've got.

Thanks for the input, Xiao! As always, it's greatly appreciated! :D
#28
Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 09, 2023, 01:05:09 PM
  • m15: I think there's a G tucked beneath the B in the RH
Yup! Missed that one. :P

Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 09, 2023, 01:05:09 PM
  • m23: I don't think the A at beat 2.5 is restruck by the LH
Yeah, I was going for a shared-hand kinda thing, but I can rework that.

Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 09, 2023, 01:05:09 PM
  • m26+: I hear chords of some kind sustained throughout the measure, do you think its worth including those in, say, beat 1 of the LH? You could use more open voicings like octaves or fifths, so it doesn't sound too dense..
Sorta? It sounds like to me it's mostly the organ's countermelody, but I do hear a pretty strong beat 1, so maybe just do octaves? That's what I've done, at least. Let me know what you think!

Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 09, 2023, 01:05:09 PM
  • For this section, do you think it's worth moving more of the RH lower layer to the LH? Since the pedal is sustained there and the LH doesn't have that much else to do, it might help take some weight off the RH.
Yeah, I've been wanting to do that, but this is surprisingly hard for this piece to notate, as the pitches are too high for cross-staff beamings, and the lower voice does go above the upper voice in m27. Still, do you think the best way is just with more LH brackets like I did in m.30? I'm just very unsure of how to best notate this.

Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 09, 2023, 01:05:09 PM
  • You might want to consider omitting the F# at m26 beat 3; the minor 2nd causes (presumably) unwanted harmonic tension.
I will admit the dissonance is a bit more forward here than in the original, but it's not for very long and it is exactly what the melody and countermelody are playing, so I think it's just fine.

Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 09, 2023, 01:05:09 PM
  • The last system has space for 4 measures, using that would mean your systems can be less cramped :)
Did you have something in mind with this? Because I don't think any of my systems are cramped. Besides, the final system contains a measure that is basically the same as m.1, and both start their respective systems, so it's a nice parallelism, I feel.

---
Files are updated! Thanks for the feedback, Xiao! :D
#29
Just wanted to put something down, but I'm working on your feedback, Xiao! I've been very busy this past week and I'll be at VGM Con all weekend, so I will get things updated early next week!

Stay tuned! :)
#30


The only main concern I have with this one is the allocation of hands for measures 29-31.
  • Whether a one-off cross-stave note is appropriate in m.29 & 31, b.4
  • Whether the LH bracket in m.30 is appropriate, how big the brackets should be, where they're positioned, should I use an ending bracket or a RH bracket to signal the return, etc.