One quick thing I noticed, m10 is dotted, dotted, quaver and not a triplet
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Show posts MenuQuote from: cashwarrior1 on June 06, 2024, 09:43:43 AMYou wouldn't be able to play the middle voiceI was thinking something like this
Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• Both composer names could fit on one line. And can be written Junichi Masuda and Go IchinoseAdded/Fixed
• Lowercase the "by" in "Arranged by"
• Speaking of which, the pickup measure should be separated from the rest of the measure count (I will refer to measure #'s as is though)
• m8 RH I would recommend just writing this as a single layer, the dotted quarter note can just be a quarter note
• m9 You could add a trill to beat 3 Fn.
• m12 RH beat 1 you could add a trill to this note
Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• bars 1-5 look scrunched up currently. Overall, I think 4-3-3-3-4 could be a better measure/system distribution for this piece.Changed to 4-3-3-4-3, as m11-12 is better for squishing 4 bars a system than m13-16.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• for the pickup measure, there is a second line of notes you could add to the LH, or at the very least the drum part leading into m1.I've added both, with the LH drum being more achievable. The second line in the RH is very virtuosic so it is in small notes.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• It's very hard to tell but I think m2-4 the first note is a Cb.I'm pretty sure its an F. I at least don't hear a symmetric Cb Eb Cb on 0.5x speed
Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• m5 RH beat 4.66 I hear a Cn 8th note as a pickup into m6I'm not quite hearing a Cn, I can hear an arpeggio leading up to
Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• m6 second layer I hear the following screenshot (can clean up layers a bit)I don't hear the Gn in your screenshot but there were major discrepancies, so I've taken a much closer look at those bars. I think the LH is F root not C root, but either inversion with an F root doesn't capture the accents in m6 well.
• In m7 RH 2nd layer I hear the Fn restrike twice with the Fn and Cn above it on beats 2.33 and 2.66. Then for beat 3 to end it sounds like the notes played by this clarinet part are just an octave down from the melody.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• m10-11 RH I am not sure I hear the notes you have outside of the last two 8th notes of each measure. What are the other RH notes based off of, partwise?RH is based off of arpegiating high strings playing quaver chords. The strings are a lot less prominent in the actual recording than I expected. (I have been cross referencing a MIDI dump, might not do that again). They can also be heard vibing on the same chord m1-4.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• m10 LH very subtle but on beat 2.66 I hear a separate Eb leading into beat 3Good catch. I hear it on b2.5 like the An in m9.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• m14-15 LH you probably could work in a second layer, similar to m12-13Added the strings in m14-15. The bass in m12-13 also can and has been added in a few other bars.
Quote from: Bloop on May 22, 2024, 11:24:03 AM-m14 (and similar): It's a bit hard for the player to have the R.H. run on beat 4 end on the chord on beat 1 of the next measureI've been looking at this run. Playing through I was doing thumb on Ab which isn't bad, but another option could be thumb on Gn, and turning 4 over 5 for the Eb: (2,3,1,2,3,4,5,124 (Eb) or 134 (Cmin)). Either way the bottom Eb in m24 b1.0 seems unreasonable to play.
Quote from: Bloop on April 08, 2024, 10:58:53 AMAbout the horizontal offset in m13 and 15, I actually do usually move the up-stemmed notes a bit to the right so they don't clash with each other. In this example it's not too crazy, but moving just a few ticks to the right doesn't impact readability that much, so I don't mind making that edit for you if you want ^^Yes please! (I have since noticed this in one of my pieces that I am currently learning as well, Spoon River arranged by Grainger)
Quote from: Bloop on April 08, 2024, 10:58:53 AM-m10 and 14: When there's no second layer above or below the notes (like in beats 1-2.5 here), staccatos should go on the notehead side of the notes. -m12: I hear a low F on beat 4 in the bassChanged these.
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