Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario Sunshine
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Delfino Airstrip
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: E. Gadd Industries (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=4357)
Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/mus/307) | MIDI (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/mid/307) | PDF (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/307)
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)
[attachment deleted by admin]
One step further to bettering the Sunshine section!
When Gadd and I were tightening this one up, we noticed that the tremolos didn't work on playback. Does anyone know why?
It's working for me. Probably just your version of finale would have to be my guess
MakeMusic just needs to get its act together. XD
Not a bad arrangement! Few things I would touch up, or at least look at:
Measure 1, beat 4: The right hand note should be a Db, not a regular D. Also, put a fermata on the left hand note; it's customary to have it on both.
Measures 10-13: That left hand part is awkwardly crossing over the right hand. I don't know what to do in terms of fixing it, but one possibility is raising the right hand up an octave. Let's see if someone else has a better way to make that less awkward.
Measures 14, 16, 18, and 20 (beat 3 in each): The second set of two eighth rests in each of these measures can be rewritten as a quarter rest since it falls on beat 3.
Measure 27: No dotted rests in 4/4. Split that dotted quarter rest into a quarter followed by an eighth.
Measures 28 and 29: Unless someone told you to do the tremolo that way, I think it would look a lot nicer to have one dotted half tremolo. I can send you the file with a cleaner tremolo and layer fixes that ensued. Oh, and I think I got the playback to work as well. No idea what the issue was :/.
Measure 30: That A natural with the accidental should actually be a B, I believe.
If you noticed, I picked on pretty small things here. That's because there weren't really any major flaws! Nice work! The biggest thing I would worry about is 10-13. That part would just be awkward to play as it is currently written.
Anyone else know how to go about fixing m10-13?
I don't think it's that bad. But I think everything in measures 10 and 13 should be play in RH, or the lower notes in LH the higher in RH. With some smart fingerings/hand choice I think it's Ok.
One other option is to make the LH one octave lower from the second half of measure 9 to measure 13 (goes up again on measure 14). That's maybe better.
Quote from: Tobbeh99 on January 20, 2016, 06:06:08 PMI don't think it's that bad. But I think everything in measures 10 and 13 should be play in RH, or the lower notes in LH the higher in RH. With some smart fingerings/hand choice I think it's Ok.
One other option is to make the LH one octave lower from the second half of measure 9 to measure 13 (goes up again on measure 14). That's maybe better.
Personally, I was thinking RH one octave higher...then again, I haven't experimented with the left hand moving down at all. I was just thinking that as is, it would take some really challenging fingering to get it to work well. I could be missing something though.
Here are my 2 solutions in an image. The first 2 measures is where I have lowered the LH one octave, and the other half is where I have moved around some notes to make it easier to play (high notes in the RH, low in the LH).
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F1ZSgzRJ.jpg&hash=ff5c5d2b6a255ab41c2194f0bd3d65f485e9f335)
I think I'll take the second option. Sure, it'll be more challenging, but I will work with it. I'd rather do that than shift any notes up or down an octave.
I think the arrangement is fine the way it is (10-13); Granted, it is awkward to play. I would recommend moving the left hand down octave, not move the right hand up an octave.
About the tremolo in 28, I, unfortunately, don't know how to make that cleaner which is why it's the way it is. That file would be nice to have, TMP. I don't know how to do it :P
Everything has been updated!
Noticed a small error in measure 28-29: You have the note, on the last beat with a tie, in layer 1 and the note, in the next measure which it's tied to, in layer 2. This will result in the playback playing both notes, instead of playing it as a tie. You have to tie notes of the same layer else it won't work properly, so make all RH notes in measures 29-31 to layer 2, that will solve the issue.
Fixed it
/me bumps the piece.
Any other fixes needing to be made to the piece?
Bump
Bump
I don't see anything else wrong with the sheet. That might be just me, though. It looks a lot better than the one currently on site. Nice work!
Thank youuu! Anyone else see any errors?
Bump
In the RH of Measures 10 and 12, is there any way you could combine the quarter rest and the eighth rest? If there is, it would make said measures look less disorganized and complex. If that's not possible, then I really don't see anything wrong with the sheet concerning formatting. You've shown the third beat throughout the piece, which makes the rhythm notation correct.
I've been told in the past not to condense rests like that, else I would.
I'd flip the note beams in things like m.8 so that your layers are layered, for lack of a better word (second layer below the first one consistent with the half note), but it's not entirely necessary.
Hey, E Gadd and I talked about all the changes made in this (https://www.dropbox.com/s/700w9a62g4l8ccd/Super%20Mario%20Sunshine%20-%20Delfino%20Airstrip.mus?dl=1) file, so this is the most updated version. He should update the files in the morning.
Quote from: Pianist Da Sootopolis on March 07, 2016, 07:41:18 PMI'd flip the note beams in things like m.8 so that your layers are layered, for lack of a better word (second layer below the first one consistent with the half note), but it's not entirely necessary.
PDS, E Gadd and I were slightly perplexed here, could you elaborate on what you're referring to? Thanks!
I looked at it again, and it's really unnecessary. FWIW I think it's ready to go.
Righty right! I will update everything when I leave school (incredibly busy morning, alarm didn't go off)!
EDIT: The OP has been updated! Thank you, both TMP and PDS!
Soooo... Is it ready to be accepted?
It's pretty close:
-I would redistribute the measures-per-system to be 5-4-4-4-4-4-4-4 for consistency's sake.
-Measures 18 and 20, LH: I'd add a courtesy natural to the F at the end of the bars, to differentiate from the F# in the RH.
-Add a double bar line at 26 (key change).
-If you can, please make the "tremolo optional" text an expression rather than a text box. An expression is linked to the exact measure and will move with it, while a text box would remain stationary,if needed to move.
-Octave Bb's in measure 30 RH should be A#'s.
Everything has been updated! Sorry about the wait, my teachers have been assigning a TON of homework as of recent.
Cool, good work!
This submission has been accepted by Olimar12345 (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=83).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot