Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Smorgs Battle
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: mariolegofan (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=3424)
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Ho Ho Ho.....won't the Updaters have a fun time with this one 8)
Original:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDojQB9n9Sw
Bump
For someone that avidly avoids having too many parts for the sake of playability, you sure don't seem to have any qualms about 16ths over triplets @ 150 BPM (m. 19+ *cough*). We'll get to that later though.
That said, these don't have to be areas of compromise. Consider m. 13-16. You wrote out quick octave melody jumps, because that's just what the song does there. However, it is NOT playable. This does not mean though that you must omit one of the octaves, but rather simply omit the specific parts in the jumps that would pose an issue in playbility:
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2Foctaves_zpsvnesakm6.png&hash=7c137f46085b450afc71bfd6cc73b253679a443c) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/octaves_zpsvnesakm6.png.html)
This serves a musical purpose as well, since I purposely kept the octaves on all the STRONG accents of the melody. In essence, not only does this preserve the octave doubling in a playable fashion, but even highlights a rhythmic aspect of the melody. Less is more, so it seems?
Quote16ths over triplets @ 150 BPM (m. 19+ *cough*)
This here actually is a non-issue, but I wanted to make a point. If you listen to the original
(which being an aficionado of PM:TTYD I'm sure you've done many times), the rhythmic backing is not in 16ths, but in triplets. So the mistake here wasn't necessarily one of demanding too much of the performer ability to play polyrhythms, but simply of transcription.
Quote from: Bespinben on October 07, 2015, 05:14:12 AMThat said, these don't have to be areas of compromise. Consider m. 13-16. You wrote out quick octave melody jumps, because that's just what the song does there. However, it is NOT playable. This does not mean though that you must omit one of the octaves, but rather simply omit the specific parts in the jumps that would pose an issue in playbility:
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2Foctaves_zpsvnesakm6.png&hash=7c137f46085b450afc71bfd6cc73b253679a443c) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/octaves_zpsvnesakm6.png.html)
This serves a musical purpose as well, since I purposely kept the octaves on all the STRONG accents of the melody. In essence, not only does this preserve the octave doubling in a playable fashion, but even highlights a rhythmic aspect of the melody. Less is more, so it seems?
I see! Well played, Bespinben!
Fixed.
Quote from: Bespinben on October 07, 2015, 05:14:12 AMThis here actually is a non-issue, but I wanted to make a point. If you listen to the original (which being an aficionado of PM:TTYD I'm sure you've done many times), the rhythmic backing is not in 16ths, but in triplets. So the mistake here wasn't necessarily one of demanding too much of the performer ability to play polyrhythms, but simply of transcription.
Man, I'm stunned. I can't believe I missed that [emoji15]
Fixed.
Links in OP updated.
Quote from: mariolegofan on October 07, 2015, 06:31:26 AM*measures 18+*
Man, I'm stunned. I can't believe I missed that [emoji15]
Fixed.
You didn't change anything. Or, rather, what I was talking about. You need to re-write the entire LH of this section to be in triplets instead of 16ths, both for the sake of the music itself and the player. The ONLY time there are 16ths is in m. 30, 35, & 36.
Also, m. 17-18 have some really awesome chords that you should write out.
(I'll give you a hint -- they feature a
split third)
Quote from: Bespinben on October 07, 2015, 05:18:14 PMYou didn't change anything. Or, rather, what I was talking about. You need to re-write the entire LH of this section to be in triplets instead of 16ths, both for the sake of the music itself and the player. The ONLY time there are 16ths is in m. 30, 35, & 36.
Umm.....I don't think so. I'm listening to the original now and I have it slowed down. What I have is correct.
I don't know how I'd incorporate that section into triplets since it is 16ths.....
Could you clarify?
Quote from: Bespinben on October 07, 2015, 05:18:14 PMAlso, m. 17-18 have some really awesome chords that you should write out.
(I'll give you a hint -- they feature a split third)
Fixed
Quote from: mariolegofan on October 07, 2015, 06:30:31 PMUmm.....I don't think so. I'm listening to the original now and I have it slowed down. What I have is correct.
I don't know how I'd incorporate that section into triplets since it is 16ths.....
Could you clarify?
Yea, I've slowed this one down as well, and I am clearly hearing 16 distinct notes per measure, not 12. I'm not hearing any triplets whatsoever, and this is at 50% speed.
I think Bespin is talking about playability.
Well, it's not impossible and changing it to triplets would ruin it.
Quote from: Bespinben on October 07, 2015, 05:18:14 PMboth for the sake of the music itself and the player.
Quote from: DonValentino on October 08, 2015, 12:44:33 PMI think Bespin is talking about playability.
Ooh, yea, didn't see that part. MLF, I agree that it isn't terrible to play, but remember it's not always people like us that are gonna be playing it! ;) I would say that you should probably change it. Although NSM strives for accuracy, the fact that both Don and Ben are advocating the change suggest that you may have to sacrifice some accuracy to maintain playability. If you want, since you are away from a computer, I could make the changes for you tomorrow. Otherwise, you can make them yourself when you come back.
I think there's a bit of miscommunication here. Perhaps I should clarify:
Measures 19-36 consist of the following elements:
Element A -- The triplet melody (treble staff)
Element B -- The 16th chromatic run (bass staff)
Element C -- The triplet percussion (unincorporated)
The current arrangement follows the formula A+B. Element A, in isolation, is playable. Element B, in isolation, is playable.
Elements A+B, together, are NOT playable.Quote from: mariolegofan on October 08, 2015, 06:58:30 PMWell, it's not impossible
Quote from: TheMarioPianist on October 08, 2015, 07:25:41 PMit isn't terrible to play
Why is A+B unplayable? Because they form a 3:4 polyrhythm, the common denominator of which is 12. This means, for Smorgs Battle, you have to be able to play 12 notes per beat at 150 beats per minute --- i.e. 30 repetitions per second. I've spent the last 3 years (and yes that includes my 2-year hiatus) tapping out the 3:4 polyrhythm on my thighs whenever I had nothing better to do in order to get the speed fast enough to play the 16ths over triplets in the "Overworld" (The Legend of Zelda), which is 140 BPM. To this day, I can't even get close to playing it at tempo, so I had to
ADAPT the arrangement to make those specific sections playable. Unless, you can play
Chopin Fantasie Impromptu Op. 66 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvm2ZsRv3C8), then I'll rest my case.
For Smorgs Battle, in order to make A+B playable, one must
adapt the compound element A+B by factoring in Element C, resulting in:
A + (BC)What does A+(BC) look like? A triplet melody, with the bass 16th run adapted into a triplet run:
(M. 19) -- Transformation based on descending and ascending melodic minor scales (beats 3-4), i.e. Bb downwards and B natural upwards.
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2Fabc1_zpsnybnmllt.png&hash=fa22caf9bb68415c19aab2670c277b32788d6eef) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/abc1_zpsnybnmllt.png.html)
(M.22) -- Db omitted from beats 3-4 because D and Eb take priority in the C minor scale
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2Fabc2_zpso0amiwf0.png&hash=adb877a5e37a7b0e1e7adf4ed636e659f880c402) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/abc2_zpso0amiwf0.png.html)
(M.34) -- C# and D omitted from beat 3 because they were dispensable components of the natural minor scale
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2Fabc3_zpsdh6pgbbj.png&hash=d7963d5c94fb877b82b99305eec04a6dae84446d) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/abc3_zpsdh6pgbbj.png.html)
(M. 35) -- Creative license here. One note had to be omitted from the C-B-Bb-B turn, so either the result could either be C-Bb-B or this (C-B-Bb)
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2Fabc4_zps5jhuek5r.png&hash=f637519e5b8487ec3e6743c97bc5279384baa66f) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/abc4_zps5jhuek5r.png.html)
I see what you mean now.
I guess I can incorporate that. I'll do it right when I get home.
I'm home and fixing it now.....
Now that I have it down, it's much better.....playable-wise.
Fixed. OP updated.
Much better. Now that the arrangement itself is in order, we can narrow down on aesthetics:
*I'm going to sound like a broken-record, but hombre....
measure distribution. You did a fairly decent job, but there's no reason for m. 5-16 to be squished together in 3 measure systems. You got plenty of space left over on page 3, so you don't need to feel pressured to "fit" things so tightly together.
*Measure 7 -- I see you using complicated accidentals a lot more in your sheets, but it's often not warranted. Instead of writing the trill as B# and C#, just write C and Db.
*M. 19+ -- You were correct in noticing a key change, but it's not C major, but rather C minor. This is important because it will affect how you spell the accidentals in this section (like using Eb instead of D#).
*(Not aesthetics, but still relevant) -- You should check m. 17-18 again. It's not a simple minor triad.
I did give you a hint...
Quote from: Bespinben on October 07, 2015, 05:18:14 PMAlso, m. 17-18 have some really awesome chords that you should write out.
(I'll give you a hint -- they feature a split third)
Some of these Paper Mario songs are a hard pain in the butt :P
Quote from: Bespinben on October 10, 2015, 12:37:11 PM*I'm going to sound like a broken-record, but hombre....measure distribution. You did a fairly decent job, but there's no reason for m. 5-16 to be squished together in 3 measure systems. You got plenty of space left over on page 3, so you don't need to feel pressured to "fit" things so tightly together.
Fixed.
I put 2 measures per system since no matter how I put it, it won't change the number of pages.
Quote from: Bespinben on October 10, 2015, 12:37:11 PM*Measure 7 -- I see you using complicated accidentals a lot more in your sheets, but it's often not warranted. Instead of writing the trill as B# and C#, just write C and Db.
I think was originally an accident. B# and C# is weird XD
Fixed.
Quote from: Bespinben on October 10, 2015, 12:37:11 PM*M. 19+ -- You were correct in noticing a key change, but it's not C major, but rather C minor. This is important because it will affect how you spell the accidentals in this section (like using Eb instead of D#).
I had trouble with this.....I tried C minor at first, but it didn't look right.
Fixed.
Quote from: Bespinben on October 10, 2015, 12:37:11 PM*(Not aesthetics, but still relevant) -- You should check m. 17-18 again. It's not a simple minor triad. I did give you a hint...
Whoops.....didn't see that the first time.
Fixed.
Op links updated.
I'm no expert here, but if I were an updater and saw this, I would intentionally ignore it for a few days. Give them at least a week to get here. I know you fixed Bespinben's changes in a few hours, but he and the other updaters have a massive list of submissions to go through. I wouldn't bump it again unless a week passes or you fall off page 1. That's about it.
Aye, you gotta great point!
It's just kinda frustrating not to get it followed up on.
I got what we talked about over skype fixed, BespinBen.
As far as accidentals go from m. 19+, I think they're all correct except the E flats in the third beats of measures like 21. Since it's an augmented fifth chord, it should be G-Bnat-Dsharp instead of E flat. Other measures with this: 25, 29 and 33.
In 33 though, the C flat should also be B natural.
Also, the systems are too close, do this: Page Layout Tool - Page Layout - Space Systems Evenly... - Page range From 2 to 3 - Place "6" systems on each page.
With that I think it's good to go, but I'll let Bespin or Olimar take a second look just in case I missed a wrong accidental.
Fixed.
This submission has been accepted by Bespinben (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=2510).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot