Here's 2 sheets I thought would be fitting for the project:
Sheet 1
Super Mario GalaxyThe Galaxy Reactor (https://www.dropbox.com/home/NinSheetMusic%20Project%20folder/Space%20Travel/Approved?preview=The+Galaxy+Reactor.musx)
Considering the game and track name it should be pretty self-explanatory why this would work. The track plays at the height of the game, where Mario journeys to the center of the universe to save people and stuff.
The sheet itself is relatively straightforward, I don't think it will need all too much work.
Sheet 2
Kirby and the Forgotten LandFrom Those who Departed for Space (https://www.dropbox.com/home/NinSheetMusic%20Project%20folder/Space%20Travel/Approved?preview=From+Those+who+Departed+for+Space.musx)
While I haven't made it this far in the game yet, I was told it would be fitting, and i mean the title literally has space travel in it.
This sheet isn't perfect yet, I'd probably still be looking for general pointers/tips before tackling the nit-picky things (as there's not really a point to doing that yet).
While I think I'd be able to bring these sheets up to an acceptance level fairly fast, I don't think it's fair yet for me to submit a 3rd one too. But if there is, I can just throw in literally anything from Super Mario Galaxy lol
Sheet 3 (if time)
Super Mario Galaxy 2The Starship Sails (https://www.dropbox.com/home/NinSheetMusic%20Project%20folder/Space%20Travel?preview=The+Starship+Sails.musx)
If there's time I think this sheet is also fitting for the project.
Some things that might need checking over on it:
- Articulation in the LH
- Arranging choices in ms. 22-30
- Stem directions in m39
- Added notes in m8 b4 and m18 b4.5
Sorry I haven't been responding to feedback as fast as usual, finals have been killing me but I should have time tomorrow.
More galaxy sheets? 👀
Two small things
- Measure 26 beat 5, the Cb should be a C natural in those last two chords
- Measure 28 crescendo is going into the barline, that could come back a little.
Not like me to turn down an opportunity like this :P
Your suggestions have been reviewed and made!
From Those who Departed for Space- m1 RH beat 1: I'm not hearing the G here, I think it may be just an overtone or something.
- m2 LH beat 3.5: Fermata should be flipped up (you only need to flip it down if there's multiple layers). Technically, there should be a fermata in the RH also, but I think in this case it's clearer to keep it as is.
- m5 LH beat 4.5: I'm not hearing the low E here, just the top one in the melody.
- m6 LH beat 2.5: Should be A instead of E (above the staff).
- m7-10: There are several missing harmonies, particularly in the RH part. I'm assuming you omitted them for a lighter texture, but there are a few spots that stood out to me that wouldn't sound too thick/muddy if you added them back in:
- m7 LH beat 2.5: There's a D above the C here.
- m10 RH beat 2.5: There's an E and F# under the A.
- m11 LH beat 1: The G sounds an octave lower to me
- m13-14 LH: If you wanted to, you could change the lower octave doubling in the melody to include some of the harmonic motion there, like this:
m13-14 LH
(https://i.imgur.com/bXJ8yzG.png)
- m14-15: Tempo markings usually look better when they're aligned vertically, at least when there's room to. I'd leave m10-11 the same for example.
- m16 LH beats 1-2: Move that slur up a bit so it's not so close to the A.
- Several of your arpeggio markings could be moved closer to the notes (like in m18-19, 23, 50) and other spots where they appear at the start of a bar could probably use some extra space (like m27). You can add additional space before the first beat by right clicking > Edit Measure Attributes > Extra Space at Beginning > set to 0.05-0.07ish
- m26 LH beat 2.5: The lowest voice in this chord is G instead of F.
- m29: I don't think the cross-staff notation is necessary here, since beats 3-4 would likely just be played by the RH anyway. Just use 2 layers in the RH, and put rests in the LH (or change the E on beat 2 to a dotted half). The overlapping stems look a bit weird.
- m35 LH beats 1-2: I'm not hearing those extra notes in the bassoon voice, it just sounds like a C half note to me. I don't really hear 16ths anywhere except for the clarinet melody.
- m38 LH beats 3.5-4: There are some bass notes in the piano that might make a good lead-in to m39.
- m42 RH beats 1-3: I'm hearing something more like this:
(https://i.imgur.com/ofZp20P.png) - m52 LH: The LH note should also have a fermata over it; I'd recommend writing it as a quarter tied to an 8th, so the fermatas line up. The LH note isn't held over beats 3.5-4 so it works out (the pedal is lifted before the pickup on beat 3.5, not at the end of the measure).
The fermata in the RH also doesn't look aligned correctly, but that's probably just some export issue.
Nice job, this is a very tough piece to condense into a solo piano sheet.
The Galaxy Reactor
-In m7 you added a cautionary accidental without brackets, but in m11 you added one with brackets. Choose one, and choose wisely ;)
-I'm not sure if the 8vb is really necessary, at least not throughout the whole sheet. The whole of page 2 and m33-40 at the very least don't need a 8vb at all, and the low notes of all places are easily recognized as octaves below the top note.
-m20: I hear the bass drop to the Bb an octave below here.
-m21-28: I think you can get away with grouping the first six 8ths in these bars in two groups of 3+3, or one group of 6.
-m29-32: You can group the L.H. 8ths here in groups of 6 too
-m31: The second layer note in beat 1 isn't hold-able for longer than a quarter note, it's probably best to move this up a few inversions.
-m33-35: The trumpet plays solo here, so maybe you could leave out the extra harmonies in these 3 bars, so the contrast with m36 is more noticeable.
Quote from: Bloop on May 05, 2022, 11:53:29 AM-m31: The second layer note in beat 1 isn't hold-able for longer than a quarter note, it's probably best to move this up a few inversions.
I'm not intending for the note to be held longer than that, I have it that length to show the continuation of different voices (and the same spot in m29 can only really be held for 2 beats as well). I know you have a tendency to not like this that much though lol
As for the grouping, I seem to remember reading up / asking someone about how to do it here, and I'm not sure how I would feel about long beams of 8ths. Do you think it's something that should be changed or is it acceptable as is?
The rest of the changes have been made :)
Quote from: Static on May 04, 2022, 06:46:16 PMm1 RH beat 1: I'm not hearing the G here, I think it may be just an overtone or something.
Yep you're right, a lot of this track is extremely echoey.
Quote from: Static on May 04, 2022, 06:46:16 PMm2 LH beat 3.5: Fermata should be flipped up (you only need to flip it down if there's multiple layers).
It's flipped up in my file, so that's weird.
Quote from: Static on May 04, 2022, 06:46:16 PMm7-10: There are several missing harmonies, particularly in the RH part.
Yeah my intent was to keep this first section a little more simple and not overwhelm the performer with all the harmonies being played in the background. As they seem more distinct than the other parts, I've added in what you suggested.
Quote from: Static on May 04, 2022, 06:46:16 PMm11 LH beat 1: The G sounds an octave lower to me
I moved this up for playability reasons, however given the current pedal marking I have there I'll consider moving it down again later (once the pedal gets sorted).
Quote from: Static on May 04, 2022, 06:46:16 PM- m13-14 LH: If you wanted to, you could change the lower octave doubling in the melody to include some of the harmonic motion there.
Fitting, I like it, done. Briefly considered keeping in the bassoon line, but the resulting octaves were much harder to play and didn't seem worth it.
Quote from: Static on May 04, 2022, 06:46:16 PMm14-15: Tempo markings usually look better when they're aligned vertically, at least when there's room to. I'd leave m10-11 the same for example.
Fixed, also changed the font sizes there to match each other.
Quote from: Static on May 04, 2022, 06:46:16 PMSeveral of your arpeggio markings could be moved closer to the notes (like in m18-19, 23, 50) and other spots where they appear at the start of a bar could probably use some extra space (like m27). You can add additional space before the first beat by right clicking > Edit Measure Attributes > Extra Space at Beginning > set to 0.05-0.07ish
Ah, so that's how to do that..
Quote from: Static on May 04, 2022, 06:46:16 PM- m35 LH beats 1-2: I'm not hearing those extra notes in the bassoon voice, it just sounds like a C half note to me. I don't really hear 16ths anywhere except for the clarinet melody.
- m38 LH beats 3.5-4: There are some bass notes in the piano that might make a good lead-in to m39.
They are extremely faint, so I hope I got them right.
Quote from: Static on May 04, 2022, 06:46:16 PMThe fermata in the RH also doesn't look aligned correctly, but that's probably just some export issue.
I deleted and re-added it, hopefully that should fix everything.
Thanks for the feedback!
Quote from: XiaoMigros on May 06, 2022, 11:53:50 PMI'm not intending for the note to be held longer than that, I have it that length to show the continuation of different voices (and the same spot in m29 can only really be held for 2 beats as well). I know you have a tendency to not like this that much though lol
Yeah the reason I comment on those things is that the player might be inclined to use the pedal to hold the notes, while you may not want them to do so. I can live with it being like this too though, if you prefer it ^^
Quote from: XiaoMigros on May 06, 2022, 11:53:50 PMAs for the grouping, I seem to remember reading up / asking someone about how to do it here, and I'm not sure how I would feel about long beams of 8ths. Do you think it's something that should be changed or is it acceptable as is?
Hmm, you could try to see if you like having the beams not cross the 8th rest (so the bar's divided in 2+2+2+2+2+2), but otherwise I can live with this too ^^
About the rest, I only heard the bass go an octave lower in m20, m19 should be an octave higher. Also, I noticed the last four 8ths in the R.H. of m26 aren't beamed together like the other bars (I'm guessing you didn't want the 3+3 either for the first six 8th notes in the 5/4 section?)
From Those who Departed for Outer Space
- m38 LH beat 4: I think it's just a quarter note G here, no D on beat 4.5
- m52 RH: The slur is touching the tie and fermata on my end, although again that might be a Finale thing. I'm using 2014 so some things look different, but if it looks OK on your end then it'll be fine.
Everything else looks great!
Concerning the slur, I guess we'll see if it's correct once I export a pdf. m38 has been fixed.
One thing I did still want to address is the pedal markings, because I'm not completely sure whether I've added them in the right places, or whether it's worth hiding them all and writing pedal ad lib. If it's fine how they are, I'll go over their positioning.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on May 07, 2022, 02:38:41 PMm38 has been fixed.
Sorry if I was unclear, I meant this:
(https://i.imgur.com/XusQmjn.png)
I'll
approve but make sure you get that
Quote from: Bloop on May 07, 2022, 10:58:12 AMI can live with it being like this too though, if you prefer it ^^
Great! I'll leave it as is then.
For the beaming in the 6/4 section, I opted for 2 groups of 6 eighths each.
The rest of your suggestions have been fixed as well :)
Quote from: Static on May 07, 2022, 08:13:19 PMSorry if I was unclear, I meant this:
Ah, that makes more sense. Fixed!
Awesome, I'll approve the Galaxy Reactor!
The Galaxy Reactor- m3-4 LH: I think the quarter notes are actually two 8th notes here, like in m5+. Maybe not on m3 beat 1, but after that.
- m23 LH beat 3: I'm assuming you intended this to be Db, and tied to the previous note
- m28 RH beats 4-5: These chords should be the same (interval-wise) as the rest; Eb-Gn-Cn and Db-Fn-Bb.
- m36 RH beat 1.5: It's kind of hard to tell, but I think the lower trumpet voices are moving parallel with the lead; Gb and Bb under the Db.
- m38 RH beat 4: Lower voice should be F instead of Db.
Quote from: Static on May 16, 2022, 11:22:52 AMm3-4 LH: I think the quarter notes are actually two 8th notes here, like in m5+. Maybe not on m3 beat 1, but after that.
It sounds like it's always two eights, starting quietly and then getting louder. I left them out here to give the intro a less rhythmic feel than the rest of the track, but if you think they're better suited being two 8ths I can change that.
Quote from: Static on May 16, 2022, 11:22:52 AMm23 LH beat 3: I'm assuming you intended this to be Db, and tied to the previous note
I think I must have accidentally hit a note with the repitch tool, fixed
No comment on the other stuff, that's been taken care of.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on May 18, 2022, 02:37:43 AMIt sounds like it's always two eights, starting quietly and then getting louder. I left them out here to give the intro a less rhythmic feel than the rest of the track, but if you think they're better suited being two 8ths I can change that.
Nope, that makes sense to me, sounds good.
Accepted
From Those Who Departed From Space
-Maybe you could horizontally align some of the pedal marks a bit, since having them all on different heights looks a bit messy. Also, make sure the pedal lift mark doesn't get too close to the pedal press mark (like in m43)
-m1-2: Maybe it'd make sense to fill the rests here a bit? It looks a bit weird to have rests in-between notes when using a pedal, if they don't serve much purpose rhythmically.
-m3-5: Is there a specific reason you didn't add in a slur in the L.H. bars here, but you did afterwards? They probably fit here well too (you can have them go below in the cross-staffed parts)
-m3-10: You can probably add pedal markings to these bars too, having the melody in the pedal isn't that big of a deal.
-m4: If you want, you could leave the cross-staffed A in the L.H. staff as well, since it's the same A as in m6.
-m7: I hear another (low) A in the L.H. on beat 1.
-m13: In the R.H. on beat 4, I hear a D instead of an E. I also hear an A-D in the piano in 8ths you could add in the L.H. if you want.
-m27: Huh, funny, on beat 4.5 both the guitar and clarinet (i think it's a clarinet) play a slightly different rhythm. The guitar plays a swung 16th, and the clarinet triplet 16th rest-16th-16th. Do you wanna choose one of those or did you choose this compromise consciously?
-m28: I hear an A in the R.H. on beat 1 as well. Also, I hear the pedal lift on beat 3 instead of beat 2.
-m32: The L.H. A on beat 1.75 starts on beat 2 instead.
-m36: I hear the R.H. B on beat 2 start on beat 2.25 instead. Also, on beat 4.5 I only hear F#-E (in a triplet 16th rest-16th-16th rhythm), not a mordent on an E.
-m51: I don't hear the D in the L.H. on beat 4.75
-m52: I think I also hear an E in the chord on beat 2.5, but I'm not 100% sure. Also, this fermata is actually exactly 4,5 beats long, so you could just write it as a half tied to a half tied to an 8th too.
Quote from: Bloop on May 21, 2022, 05:07:57 AM-m1-2: Maybe it'd make sense to fill the rests here a bit?
I was torn how to do this, as I thought it might be a good idea to preserve the 8ths of the similar pattern later on. Arrangement wise it makes more sense as you suggested though, so I changed that :p
Quote from: Bloop on May 21, 2022, 05:07:57 AM-m3-5: Is there a specific reason you didn't add in a slur in the L.H. bars here, but you did afterwards?
I think it was because they were getting in the way off the cross-staffing, and instead of flipping them later I just removed them (it was late at night last I worked on this, iirc). Fixed!
Quote from: Bloop on May 21, 2022, 05:07:57 AM-m4: If you want, you could leave the cross-staffed A in the L.H. staff as well, since it's the same A as in m6.
I used cross-staff notation in this sheet to better split figures between hands, hence in m4 the A is in the top staff. What I've done instead is moved the A in m6 up, making the LH easier to play.
Quote from: Bloop on May 21, 2022, 05:07:57 AMI also hear an A-D in the piano in 8ths you could add in the L.H. if you want.
I've added just the A, it makes the part more coherent and clashes with the E less.
Quote from: Bloop on May 21, 2022, 05:07:57 AM-m27: Huh, funny, on beat 4.5 both the guitar and clarinet (i think it's a clarinet) play a slightly different rhythm. The guitar plays a swung 16th, and the clarinet triplet 16th rest-16th-16th. Do you wanna choose one of those or did you choose this compromise consciously?
I interpreted this as a performance deviation and opted for what made the most logical sense to put in a sheet. If it's okay, I think it's best left like this (the difference it makes when performing is negligible but the confusion/difficulty added wouldn't be, imo).
Quote from: Bloop on May 21, 2022, 05:07:57 AM-m28: I hear an A in the R.H. on beat 1 as well. Also, I hear the pedal lift on beat 3 instead of beat 2.
I originally had that A in there, I don't know why it's gone now but I'll add it again. I've expanded the pedal marking to beat 2.5, I think it's important for the chord on that beat to be staccato, it captures the feel of the piano part better than keeping it sustained.
Quote from: Bloop on May 21, 2022, 05:07:57 AM-m32: The L.H. A on beat 1.75 starts on beat 2 instead.
I heard it as something inbetween and went with b1.75, but if it's actually b2 I'll do that instead.
Quote from: Bloop on May 21, 2022, 05:07:57 AM-m36: I hear the R.H. B on beat 2 start on beat 2.25 instead. Also, on beat 4.5 I only hear F#-E (in a triplet 16th rest-16th-16th rhythm), not a mordent on an E.
The clarinet here plays a bit more freely and breathy than elsewhere, so I did more interpretation-y stuff. The B I've changed, but I do still hear a mordent at b4.5, so I've left that.
Quote from: Bloop on May 21, 2022, 05:07:57 AM-m51: I don't hear the D in the L.H. on beat 4.75
I can hear it, albeit faintly.
Quote from: Bloop on May 21, 2022, 05:07:57 AM-m52: I think I also hear an E in the chord on beat 2.5, but I'm not 100% sure. Also, this fermata is actually exactly 4,5 beats long, so you could just write it as a half tied to a half tied to an 8th too.
The E is there, I've added that. I chose a fermata for consistency reasons, as other tracks in the game have this melody/motif without the fermata, so writing it differently here seemed excessive.
I haven't paid much attention to the pedals yet, I sort of just added them where I felt like it. I'm considering just writing pedal ad lib, since in a lot of places it doesn't really matter whether the pedal is used or not. If not I'll just add the markings where you suggested and align them.
Everything else not mentioned in this post has (hopefully) been addressed. Thanks!
Heya! Sorry to tack on more feedback at the last minute, but I was just browsing. This looks great, just a few small things I noticed while skimming ^^
If any of these are due to stuff being messed up between Finale versions, feel free to skip.
- 8va too low in m. 13 (hitting the slur on beat 1)
- Tempo marking in m. 19 could be raised up just a bit more
- Some of the pedal and release markings are uncomfortably close to each other or the notes; these include but aren't limited to places like m. 26-28, 35-38, 43-44
- Make sure the staccato in the RH of m. 30 is below the chord
- The third system on the last page would appreciate some more space around it (you can move things down on the page a bit since you have some extra space at the bottom)
- The LH of m. 53-56 would be nicer in bass clef (and you can raise the ped markings in 53-54 since the beam isn't so far below the staff)
- SLur on the LH in the last couple of measures like in m. 21-22?
Hey! That's cool, whatever helps :)
Went over most of these points , some needed addressing, and some didn't. As I hadn't implemented Bloop's feedback for the pedal yet, those points should be resolved automatically (I hid all the markings).
Awesome, looking great now! I'll accept!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/895351643024015360/906174892746108988/BloopApproves2.png