Welcome to NinSheetMusic! Very solid sheet you have here, it looks like you have a very good grasp of piano arranging. I'm gonna get into a bunch of minute details here.
- Although Yasuaki Iwata is listed as the composer on the soundtrack, this track is an arrangement of the original Toy Day theme, composed by Shinobu Tanaka. I'd recommend adding her as a composer, or if you want to be more detailed, do:
"Composed by Shinobu Tanaka
Arranged by Yasuaki Iwata (also in bold)
Arranged for piano by JustNoble" - I like the condensed keyboard part you used for the LH in m1-2, but I'd recommend making beat 4.5 in m1 Db-Eb instead of Bb-Eb, to better imply the Eb7 chord there.
- Similarly, beats 3-4 of m2 LH should be the same chord - I'd recommend Bb and Db instead of Bb and Eb. The chord there is an Eb7, without the third.
- The melody in m5-12 is played without harmony in the original recording. I would recommend removing the lower notes and just letting the LH provide the harmonic framework here. If you want to keep the RH harmonies for a more full texture, then I would recommend harmonizing in 5ths/6ths. Some of your current RH harmonies don't seem to fit with the chords, so pay attention to the underlying chord progression (Ab, Db/Ab, Abmaj7, Db/Ab).
- m6/10 RH beat 3: Separating 16th note triplets is standard practice in older scores (sometimes), but I often think it's easier to read when beamed. You can do this in NotePad by pressing the "/" key while the 8th note after is highlighted.
- m7-8 RH: I hear this break a little differently, with beat 2.5 just being Ab (no Db underneath). The chords on beats 3-4 should be the same (Ab-Db-Eb). In m8, I would move the Eb on beat 2.5 down an octave, since that's where it plays in the original, but also to get out of the way of the flugelhorn melody.
- m11-12 RH: The accordion figure should be an octave lower, and sounds a bit different to me.
- The guitar accompaniment I hear a bit differently than you have in m5-12, particularly the bass notes. In the original track, m5-12 is built around changing chords on a pedal Ab bass. Also the bass on beat 3 of m12 should be Eb (Eb9sus4 chord).
- With the above points in mind, here's how m5-12 could look:
m5-12
(https://i.imgur.com/ODdUFN9.png)
- You have a lot of empty space on the top of page 1. I can help re-space your sheet for you once everything is taken care of, since NotePad isn't able to do that.
- There are a handful of other things I'll get too, like the page number being large than the title on page 2, etc.
I would focus your attention to picking out those specific voices throughout the rest this sheet, so I'll leave you with this much for now.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask (here or on Discord, whichever is easiest for you).