Submission Information:
Series: The Legend of Zelda
Game: The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Sir Combsly
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Cashwarrior1 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4449)
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So I did notice that Olimar has an arrangement of this on his website, though I didn't look at his until after arranging this and saw that he wrote it in cut time while I wrote it in 4/4. If it is better for it to be in cut time, I'll go ahead and change it.
Quote from: cashwarrior1 on July 31, 2021, 04:28:18 AMSo I did notice that Olimar has an arrangement of this on his website, though I didn't look at his until after arranging this and saw that he wrote it in cut time while I wrote it in 4/4. If it is better for it to be in cut time, I'll go ahead and change it.
This looks fine to me as is.
Feedback:
- Be consistent about your use of dotted eighth rests
- Check this out here topic about staccatos: https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=11591.0 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=11591.0)
- Is there a particular reason you put the accompaniment in the original place above the melody in m. 4? I think it would be better off below the melody to be consistent with the accompaniment in the rest of the piece. The RH could optionally help with that since the LH is low on beat 4.
- G#s in m. 5 should be Gn (G chord going to C chord)
- Conversely, G in RH m. 9 beat 1.75 should be G#
- Slur at the end would be better above the notes
Also spellings:
- m. 8 Db's would be better off as C# (chromatically ascending from C to D) - also remove the natural on the D in m. 9 accordingly
- Gb would be better as F# in m. 9
- The Ab at the end should be a G# (major third above the E bass)
Quote from: Latios212 on August 17, 2021, 05:47:11 PM- Is there a particular reason you put the accompaniment in the original place above the melody in m. 4? I think it would be better off below the melody to be consistent with the accompaniment in the rest of the piece. The RH could optionally help with that since the LH is low on beat 4.
Never occurred to me that I could have the RH play it when it was down the octave ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Updated.
Cool, looks good! Just a couple more small things:
- Fix the stem directions and articulations for the RH in m. 4 now that there's only one layer
Quote from: Latios212 on August 17, 2021, 05:47:11 PM- Be consistent about your use of dotted eighth rests
It's consistent now, but I was suggesting to use dotted eighth rests everywhere instead of breaking them up like this. I think it's a bit easier to read when condensed, but up to you.
Quote from: Latios212 on August 17, 2021, 05:47:11 PM- m. 8 Db's would be better off as C# (chromatically ascending from C to D) - also remove the natural on the D in m. 9 accordingly
Keep the A# as a Bb in m. 8 (C#dim7) - also because it resolves to A in the next chord
Updated.
Cool, just put the RH slurs below the notes in m. 4 like the other places.
Other than that, looks good!
- In m1-3, the chords on beats 3-4 don't actually have E's in them (it's just D-G#-C), so you can remove the E's from the chord (you have E's in the LH as part of the lower layer already).
- m4 RH beat 3 and m5 RH beat 4: having a tenuto and a slur on the same note is redundant. You only need one (preferably the slur since it's more common and less ambiguous in piano music).
- I don't think I hear C's in the upper layer chords on m7 LH beats 3-4... instead, I hear Ab's.
- Likewise, I hear B's in the upper layer chords on m8 LH beats 1-2 instead of C's.
- It's hard to tell, but I think the timpani plays A# on m9 beat 3 instead of A... but that pitch is not very well defined in the first place, so I would suggest using the D# from the other low voice instead.
- And, I hear B's in the upper layer chords on m10 LH beats 1-2 instead of E's.
The major thing: m3-6 are easily playable since the RH can help play the chords in the LH, but in m7-10 the RH is too high to do this. You'll need to reconsider how exactly you want the LH to be played; as it's written right now, it's not playable unless you pedal a lot (which isn't appropriate for a piece like this). You could try moving the lowest LH notes up an octave, or inverting some of the chords down a bit, or having the LH let go of the bass note to jump up and play the chords, etc. The places where you'll need to adjust for LH playability are m7 beats 1-2, m7 beat 4, m8 beats 3-4, m9 beat 3 (unless you change the A to a D# like I suggested above), and m10 beats 1-2.
What I would personally do is: move m7 LH beats 1 and 4 up an octave, invert the upper chords in m8 LH beats 3-4 down once, change m9 beat 3 from an A to a D#, and raise m10 LH beat 1 up an octave. But you can play around and see what you prefer.
Updated.
- Move the third rest in m4 LH up a notch
- Move the third rest in m5 LH down a notch
- I think m10 would look better if the last two rests in the LH were moved up to be on the same level as the other rests, just because all the other rests in the LH throughout the whole sheet are at the same height
- One thing to consider about the chords on m10 LH beats 1-2, for which I suggested replacing the E's with B's: if you keep them as E's, then it interferes with the other layer where the E is held. The pianist will either have to play the E staccato (therefore stopping the held E) or hold the E down when they play the chords (therefore not playing it in the same way as the other notes in the chord). If you're still okay with that you can keep the E's, but I think the B's work better from a playing perspective.
Updated.
nice
This submission has been accepted by mastersuperfan (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=3561).
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