Submission Information:
Series: Monster Hunter
Game: Monster Hunter Rise
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Brave Hunters (Minoto)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Th3Gavst3r (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4780)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Pretty audio (https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701204749244170314/808884162106753084/Main_Menu_2_piano.mp3)
Déjà vu...
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701204749244170314/808881861270962217/unknown.png
:D
You've got some awkward overlaps between the LH/RH. Crossing over isn't necessarily a problem, but you have them playing the same note at almost the same time, which will be awkward to play and also confusing for the listener - m. 1 beat 3, m. 5 beat 3, m. 6 beat 4, m. 8 beat 4.
Don't have any super bright ideas at the moment, but think about what you can do to prioritize the melody, whether that means omitting or lowering the LH part or something else.
Quote from: Latios212 on February 15, 2021, 04:29:23 PMYou've got some awkward overlaps between the LH/RH. Crossing over isn't necessarily a problem, but you have them playing the same note at almost the same time, which will be awkward to play and also confusing for the listener - m. 1 beat 3, m. 5 beat 3, m. 6 beat 4, m. 8 beat 4.
I lowered the double A by an octave in m1b3 and m5b3
For m6b4 I lowered the doubled C on b4 and also the Bb on the downbeat of 3 to help with voice leading, but I left the G on b3.5 to avoid feeling like a sudden drop into a lower register.
M8b4 I just removed the double G since nothing else sounded good to me.
I also added some parentheses on notes shared between voices and got a proper title for this sheet too
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701204749244170314/814218444681510972/unknown.png
Cool, looks much better now :)
A few visual concerns:
- The roll markings in m. 1/8 are a bit far to the left
- The sharps on the F#'s at the beginning of m. 2 and 6 are pretty confusing - the previous measures already play F# and this looks like a change when it's the same pitch. I would suggest taking them out.
- The LH/RH staves are pretty far apart. That's not in itself a problem, but it looks a little odd with this sheet I think since the LH and RH parts are so close together on the piano.
- The right end of the slur in m. 8 could be brought down a bit.
Quote from: Latios212 on March 05, 2021, 01:36:00 PM- The roll markings in m. 1/8 are a bit far to the left
Adjusted those
Quote from: Latios212 on March 05, 2021, 01:36:00 PM- The sharps on the F#'s at the beginning of m. 2 and 6 are pretty confusing - the previous measures already play F# and this looks like a change when it's the same pitch.
I put those there to point out that they aren't from the surrounding D minor modulation, but it is a little bit confusing. Being the first note of the "key change" it's probably fine to leave it bare
Quote from: Latios212 on March 05, 2021, 01:36:00 PM- The LH/RH staves are pretty far apart. That's not in itself a problem, but it looks a little odd with this sheet I think since the LH and RH parts are so close together on the piano.
Put a lot of effort into squeezing things close together. I flipped the LH layer 1 to help with this and moved a lot of the dynamics around. The result is microscopic
Quote from: Latios212 on March 05, 2021, 01:36:00 PM- The right end of the slur in m. 8 could be brought down a bit.
Since I flipped LH layer 1, this isn't a problem anymore :D
Splendid, approved :)
- The roll markings in m1/8 are still a little too far to the left.
- The LH Layer 1 beat 1 rests are too high up.
- Add a whole note D under the LH in m4?
- You may or may not consider cross-staffing the G/A/Bb in m4 to make it easier to read.
- I would suggest lowering m6 LH beat 3.5 (G) down an octave to preserve the contour of the original.
- m8 is fine as is, but I thought I'd just point out that, if you wanted to keep consistent with m2/6 beat 4, the G on LH beat 4.25 should be written as a dotted eighth and the F# wouldn't be played until beat 1 of the next measure.
- Strange, m9 LH Layer 1 doesn't sound on playback... not sure why. Is this true on your end too? For a quick fix, you could just add the whole note to Layer 2 as well and it'll play back.
- I think the grace note on the last note works better as a Cn rather than a B.
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 16, 2021, 08:32:35 AM- The roll markings in m1/8 are still a little too far to the left.
Moved them to the right 1 tick
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 16, 2021, 08:32:35 AM- The LH Layer 1 beat 1 rests are too high up.
Moved them down 1 tick
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 16, 2021, 08:32:35 AM- Add a whole note D under the LH in m4?
- You may or may not consider cross-staffing the G/A/Bb in m4 to make it easier to read.
Added the D and shifted the whole countermelody into the upper staff. Also shifted the countermelody into the upper staff in m7, and swapped the hairpin for a
cresc. to avoid clutter
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 16, 2021, 08:32:35 AM- I would suggest lowering m6 LH beat 3.5 (G) down an octave to preserve the contour of the original.
I left the G on b3.5 to avoid dropping into a lower register compared to the rest of the song
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 16, 2021, 08:32:35 AM- m8 is fine as is, but I thought I'd just point out that, if you wanted to keep consistent with m2/6 beat 4, the G on LH beat 4.25 should be written as a dotted eighth and the F# wouldn't be played until beat 1 of the next measure.
Technically m6 should be some sort of tuplet Bb,C,A but while it sounds natural in voice the rhythm sounds awkward on piano. M8 sounds fine with the repeated F# to me though
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 16, 2021, 08:32:35 AM- Strange, m9 LH Layer 1 doesn't sound on playback... not sure why. Is this true on your end too? For a quick fix, you could just add the whole note to Layer 2 as well and it'll play back.
Works fine for me, it even makes it into the midi export which is usually the first thing to not work. Must be a weird versioning thing :(
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 16, 2021, 08:32:35 AM- I think the grace note on the last note works better as a Cn rather than a B.
I agree, changed it
All right, last few things:
- Dynamic marking in m1 is a bit high up and should be moved down a bit to be aligned in the center between the LH and RH staves. EDIT: Or you could just put the dynamic marking in m1 directly between the notes on beat 1 and move the roll marking back a bit to the left, which might be preferable actually.
- The m5 LH beat 1 eighth rest is one notch too high compared to m1. With that, I would also move the cresc. a bit down so that it's closer to being horizontally aligned with the mp in m7.
- I would move the m3/m7 RH beat 1 eighth rests up two notches so that they're just about touching the bottom of the RH staff. Right now, they're too far down IMO.
- You might consider making the LH whole notes in the last measure; I feel like it's a bit strange for the LH to suddenly release as the RH plays the last note.
- I'm not sure if Capcom should be capitalized? I've never written it that way on my sheets, anyway...
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 27, 2021, 08:03:21 PM- Dynamic marking in m1 is a bit high up and should be moved down a bit to be aligned in the center between the LH and RH staves. EDIT: Or you could just put the dynamic marking in m1 directly between the notes on beat 1 and move the roll marking back a bit to the left, which might be preferable actually.
- The m5 LH beat 1 eighth rest is one notch too high compared to m1. With that, I would also move the cresc. a bit down so that it's closer to being horizontally aligned with the mp in m7.
Moved it under beat one and adjusted all layer 1 beat 1 rests down slightly to free up some room
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 27, 2021, 08:03:21 PM- I would move the m3/m7 RH beat 1 eighth rests up two notches so that they're just about touching the bottom of the RH staff. Right now, they're too far down IMO.
Moved them
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 27, 2021, 08:03:21 PM- You might consider making the LH whole notes in the last measure; I feel like it's a bit strange for the LH to suddenly release as the RH plays the last note.
I prefer it the way it is. In the original, the decay on the strings is short enough that the last note plays alone, and releasing the keys creates the same isolation on that final tone
Quote from: mastersuperfan on March 27, 2021, 08:03:21 PM- I'm not sure if Capcom should be capitalized? I've never written it that way on my sheets, anyway...
They're kind of inconsistent with text because their logo is presented in all caps. IIRC I checked the end credits of one of the games for this sheet, but it looks like most of their branding uses lowercase so I'll switch to that
looks great
This submission has been accepted by mastersuperfan (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=3561).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot