Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Space Station Silicon Valley
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: Snow Joke
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: MaiBlu (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=6358)
Hiya, sorry for the wait; this is a pretty solid sheet! Some small comments I have:
- The copyright information is outside the margins (too far down) and should be moved up. Likewise, the page number and header on page 2 are too far up and should be moved down. (Click the page layout tool to see the margins.)
- The LH jumps in m5/13/29 look really big; maybe you could raise the low notes an octave higher to make it more manageable?
- In the RH, I would tie the C at the end of m6 to a whole note in m7 (and the notes you currently have in m7 could be moved to a different layer). That would clarify that the notes you have right now in m7 are separate from the main melody.
- m31 RH beat 3.5 (G#) sounds like a full quarter note rather than just an eighth note.
And then a more substantial suggestion: Regarding the LH part in general—it fits well with what you have, but it doesn't have much to do with the bassline from the original track. You might consider adding more parts of the original bassline into the LH while cutting/rearranging some of the stuff you currently have in the LH (not all of it, but just enough to accommodate the bassline), and you can keep the parts that are left in a separate layer above the bassline. For m17-24, you could move some of those chords in the LH into the RH as a second layer, and add the full bassline into the LH.
You could also do the same with some parts of m1-16 and m25-32 (move some chords from the LH into the RH, add the full bassline into the LH), but m1-16 and m25-32 also work pretty well as is, so if you would strongly prefer to keep it this way, that's fine too. However, the dyads/chords in m17-24 sound pretty heavy and muddy in such a low register, so I would recommend trying to rework those measures at least. Let me know if you want any help with it.
Bump for MaiBlu, if you're here you've got some feedback :P
Archiving this one for inactivity - feel free to resubmit with the above feedback, and don't hesitate to reach out for help if you need it!