Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: New Super Mario Bros.
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Overworld
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arrangers: LeviR.star (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5007) & PokéMaster (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5924)
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Just a couple quick (but pretty big) things to address here before we go very far:
- you arranged a piece from
New Super Mario Bros. (DS), but submitted it under
Super Mario Bros. (NES), a completely different game. Everyone makes mistakes, but just make sure to pay attention to what you're selecting when you prepare sheets for submission
- a much better title this for this sheet would be "Overworld", as this theme is a recurring one for many levels. Sure, the player first hears it in World 1 - 1, but it plays pretty frequently after that. Try not to invent titles unless there's very little source information to go off of
Here's the original (which you should always try to remember to post with every sheet you put out here):
I don't know if you need to delete this sheet and try again to change the game, but if it forces you to, go ahead. We'll just work on the same sheet in the next submission topic.
Hello,
Yes sure. I corrected the first mistake with the wrong game before you published your message, sorry.
As for the title, I'll edit it right now.
Well, I don't think it is necessary to completely delete this submission.
Thanks for your advice!
Quote from: PokeMaestro on February 02, 2020, 07:05:39 PMWell, I don't think it is necessary to completely delete this submission.
Ah, okay. I wasn't sure if it would let you change that information, but it turns out it can, good.
Levi, can you help out PokéMaster with this sheet as we discussed?
Working on it, will find time to finish it by the end of the week.
Regarding the title, my existing 2-piano arrangement of this is titled "Walking the Plains": we should be consistent here.
Found a YouTube video with some soundtrack titles (not too fond of Bowser Jr. being called "Mini-Bowser" in some places):
Where'd you originally get that song name, Greg?
Couldn't tell you, my arrangement's something like 9 years old at this point. This particular title shows up in a lot of places though, so I'm going to assume I just googled it.
Um ... Okay, of course I'll change the title. Is there anything left to improve?
And pls don't get me wrong, I attach great importance to you making improvements to the arrangement, but I will not change it until the others suggestions have arrived too, if that is okay. :)
Hey, PokeMaster, sorry for the wait. I've had some midterms tests to do, and the updaters are preoccupied at the moment, but I've got the first re-write draft right here!
Here's the PDF. (https://www.dropbox.com/s/ej2kkqv3uivuy26/New%20Super%20Mario%20Bros.%20-%20Overworld.pdf?dl=1)
Here's the MP3. (https://www.dropbox.com/s/5ww01bni5zxeqm0/New%20Super%20Mario%20Bros.%20-%20Overworld.mp3?dl=1)
Now, instead of going through every tiny detail I altered one-by-one, I'd like to have you compare this with your version just so you can understand why I had to make these changes. Once you understand, we can set to work on finalizing this.
If you have any questions, just bring 'em right here!
Hi Levi,
thanks a very lot!! Well, you have already completely edited the arrangement. I am very grateful to you, but I do not know which will be the next step? How did you imagine that?
Well, Levi helped you out with the arrangement by cleaning it up, fixing notes and formatting, etc. in order to demonstrate how this arrangement can be brought up to site standards. As such, the result is credited to the both of you
I would suggest carefully reviewing the updated arrangement that Levi has shown here (Levi, can you provide a .mus?). Once you've had a chance to go over it, you can update the submission with the file and Levi as a co-arranger if that's okay with you.
Quote from: Latios212 on March 08, 2020, 03:57:42 PM(Levi, can you provide a .mus?)
Sure:
New Super Mario Bros. - Overworld.mus (https://www.dropbox.com/s/rgcesb2ihffpxlx/New%20Super%20Mario%20Bros.%20-%20Overworld.mus?dl=1)
Hi there, sorry for late answering.
So, I'm impressed by your work, Levi. I noticed a few small things to decorate or improve the arrangement.
Measure 1 : I'm pretty sure to hear an e' before the c'' first and not an e'' in in the melody part.
Measure 1-10 : an agitato??
Measure 11 ff : a leggiero??
Koji Kondo -> Kōji Kondō
Expression: "Presto (Half=100)"
Why did you use an alla breve instead of an alla semibreve (4/4)? I'm interested.
And do we now call it "Battle Plains" or "Overworld"?
Do you agree?
mus: https://drive.google.com/uc?export=download&id=1FajSHP0DRUFNpbrVrb_agWhBRQCSwQfF (https://drive.google.com/uc?export=download&id=1FajSHP0DRUFNpbrVrb_agWhBRQCSwQfF)
musx: https://drive.google.com/uc?export=download&id=1HBP8XjCaoM-7kqBpceRVLn-rxFeLNA_r (https://drive.google.com/uc?export=download&id=1HBP8XjCaoM-7kqBpceRVLn-rxFeLNA_r)
Discussed the previous post with PokeMaestro over Discord. He went ahead and updated his files.
Great work guys! Just a couple minor comments from me.
- I think the last eighth notes in the LH in measures 14, 22, and 26 should be the same as the first note of the next measure, not beat 3 of their containing measure.
- I think it would make sense to extend the slurs in the phrases to beat 2.5 of m. 34, 38, 42. This would better visually differentiate those parts from the rhythmic strikes on beat 3.
- Similarly, you might want to extend the slur to beat 3 of m. 47. I also think that dotted quarter should be a quarter + eighth rest as there's a noticeable pause before the last note comes in.
- First LH note in 48 should be D, not F.
- The D.S. at the end seems a bit high.
Also, Levi, we already went over this for the first half of the piece but I think there are some bass pick-ups to beats that are missing in the second half as well - G in m. 33 beat 2.5, D in m. 35 beat 4.5, and a bunch more particularly where you have half notes written right now. I'd suggest going through again and seeing if you can hear them. Even if they don't stand out a ton in the original, I'd suggest putting them in as that rhythm is really accented throughout the piece and missing out on those can make the arrangement feel a bit empty at times.
Other than the above, looks good to me!
I've also edited the submission to add Levi as a co-arranger.
Alrighty guys, I finally got around to fixing up my edit, and I think I got all the bass pickups right this time around -- raising the audio up an octave really helped. That said, I wouldn't be opposed to you guys checking over the LH closely one last time for me, just in case I'm speaking too soon. Files are ready otherwise.
Quote from: PokeMaestro on March 14, 2020, 04:03:30 PMExpression: "Presto (Half=100)"
Why did you use an alla breve instead of an alla semibreve (4/4)? I'm interested.
I just wanted to pop in and point out that the tempo marking "presto" isn't really accurate here, since the tempo and feel of the tune is given in half notes. It has a more relaxed Latin or Boss Nova style, so I think something like moderato would be a more accurate label.
Quote from: Static on May 16, 2020, 11:31:43 PMI just wanted to pop in and point out that the tempo marking "presto" isn't really accurate here, since the tempo and feel of the tune is given in half notes. It has a more relaxed Latin or Boss Nova style, so I think something like moderato would be a more accurate label.
That's what I was thinking, too. Fixed.
Sweet, this looks fantastic now! I have nothing to add, other than the tempo marking seems to be up a bit high.
approve
First, I'd recommend lowering the tempo and composer/arranger ever so slightly. It looks like they're flying away as it is. Maybe check some sheets on the site for reference.
Second, I'd recommend taking the accent off of beats 1 and 2.5 of m35 RH and the like. (leaving a staccato there) This is because the quieter layer here is given the same emphasis as the loud BAHs. By only accenting when the BAHs are present, it would sound more like the original.
Finally, it's time to talk about 8th note beaming. There's nothing wrong with letting the 8th notes exist in groups of 4. In fact, that's notationally correct. However, proper notation also dictates that they should only be grouped into 4 when there are exactly 4 of them. This means beaming over rests is incorrect like in m1 RH (and also looks not great), and beaming in sets of 3 is incorrect, like m2 (because someone sight reading might mistake them for triplets). The sets of three is debatable, as not everyone agrees on it. I am in favor of breaking them, but this one is up to you.
Here's what the first system looks like with beams broken:
(https://i.fiery.me/WuOkp.jpg)
It looks a lot cleaner and is more aesthetically pleasing, in my opinion at least.
Fix/address these things and you're good to go. You've put together a pretty great sheet here.
Quote from: Maelstrom on May 18, 2020, 08:33:10 AMFirst, I'd recommend lowering the tempo and composer/arranger ever so slightly. It looks like they're flying away as it is.
Noted, they do look a little high. Usually I try to space the tempo marking directly between the top of the first system and the bottom of the arranger credits, but I can make an exception here.
Quote from: Maelstrom on May 18, 2020, 08:33:10 AMSecond, I'd recommend taking the accent off of beats 1 and 2.5 of m35 RH and the like. (leaving a staccato there) This is because the quieter layer here is given the same emphasis as the loud BAHs. By only accenting when the BAHs are present, it would sound more like the original.
Thanks for pointing that out; I originally only had the bah's written in, but forgot about the accents when it was suggested I add the other part overlapping them.
Quote from: Maelstrom on May 18, 2020, 08:33:10 AMFinally, it's time to talk about 8th note beaming. There's nothing wrong with letting the 8th notes exist in groups of 4. In fact, that's notationally correct. However, proper notation also dictates that they should only be grouped into 4 when there are exactly 4 of them. This means beaming over rests is incorrect like in m1 RH (and also looks not great), and beaming in sets of 3 is incorrect, like m2 (because someone sight reading might mistake them for triplets). The sets of three is debatable, as not everyone agrees on it. I am in favor of breaking them, but this one is up to you.
Here's what the first system looks like with beams broken:
(https://i.fiery.me/WuOkp.jpg)
It looks a lot cleaner and is more aesthetically pleasing, in my opinion at least.
I totally get what you're saying, it makes a lot of sense, but with all due respect I'd like to leave this step out. As this is a collab submission with PokeMaestro, it's not really my call to go back and break all of the beams, but I will keep this in mind for future sheets where it applies.
Quote from: Maelstrom on May 18, 2020, 08:33:10 AMFix/address these things and you're good to go. You've put together a pretty great sheet here.
Oh pshaw, it was a collaborative effort :P
Quote from: LeviR.star on May 19, 2020, 06:41:41 PMI totally get what you're saying, it makes a lot of sense, but with all due respect I'd like to leave this step out. As this is a collab submission with PokeMaestro, it's not really my call to go back and break all of the beams, but I will keep this in mind for future sheets where it applies.
I'm not really sure I understand your reasoning here. As I see it, breaking the beams in this case is something that should be done by default, with exceptions made for special cases. If there's a legitimate reason you have for keeping them, please tell me.
Quote from: Maelstrom on May 20, 2020, 03:13:39 PMI'm not really sure I understand your reasoning here. As I see it, breaking the beams in this case is something that should be done by default, with exceptions made for special cases. If there's a legitimate reason you have for keeping them, please tell me.
Okay, I'll explain. The reason I was trying to give in my last post was this one:
A). PokeMaestro wasn't around to approve the changes, so I wouldn't do it until he gave me a thumbs-up because the sheet's not entirely mine.
... but the real reason is more along the lines of this:
B.) With all due respect, I would rather have them beamed together; I think it's plenty readable without breaking them. This stance of mine is a personal preference, but if special beaming is something that needs to be regularly implemented into the site's sheets (even if this is a special case,) the formatting guidelines really ought to be updated. I've been getting several conflicting points between updaters on my sheets, and as I'm trying to push for consistency (at least within my own arrangements,) the way I see it, nitpicks like this really need to be set into stone, as I really don't want to "pick favorites" among the submission staff.
That's the jist of it. Hope you understand.
If you are personally strongly for it, then I'll let it pass. The way you worded it earlier didn't make that clear to me.
I'll accept it.
This submission has been accepted by Maelstrom (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4119).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot