Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: StreetPass Mii Plaza
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Find Mii
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: LeviR.star (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5007)
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Betcha didn't see this one comin', did ya?
I'm still debating whether or not I want to use any pedal or percussion. If you guys are interested, we can experiment, but for now, my only concern is for some of the LH chords.
Quote from: LeviR.star on July 14, 2019, 08:39:20 PMBetcha didn't see this one comin', did ya?
You are correct, there was no way I could have predicted this.
Generally speaking, this looks really good. Just a few things:
-I'm not 100% convinced on the value of mixing tenutos and slurs (like on beat 1 of bar 10) but maybe you're thinking something that I'm not (I'd guess it'd have something to do with emphasis).
-I know you weren't sure whether to include percussion or not, but there are actually some tuned As playing in bars 3-4 in the same rhythmic pattern as the percussion which would make a nice intro into the main loop, at least in my opinion.
-http -> https. (Have people fixing up old WIPs for submission lately [or just submitting old sheets I guess.])
-In the first two bars I think we're missing the 'punchyness' of the bass on those chords. Also it's making the chords in bar 2 sound off because you're actually missing the correct harmonies by missing out the bass notes there (F -> G I think). I think the solution would be to bring the right hand off of the high A early so it can play the chords and have the left hand move to a lower octave to play the bass notes. It'd be quite idiomatic I think as well that way.
-Speaking of those chords in bars 1-2, I think that they would be a nice place for a sforzando.
-The left hand chords at the end of bar 12 sounded kind of off to me when I played them on piano, but checking the notes they seemed right to me. So... I'm not really sure what's going on there but as I can't find anything specifically wrong it's probably fine. (It's probably just playing the chords in a vacuum sounds odd but in the correct context they're fine.)
-Something I just noticed and I really hope that it isn't like this on your template, but your copyright is slightly misaligned to the right.
Super neat! 7/4 :D
Quote from: LeviR.star on July 14, 2019, 08:39:20 PMI'm still debating whether or not I want to use any pedal or percussion. If you guys are interested, we can experiment, but for now, my only concern is for some of the LH chords.
I think some low D hits in m. 3-4 mirroring the percussion would work really well. Also, I think it'd be a better layout if you put the entire intro on just one system, and put 4 systems on page 1 and 5 on page 2.
Quote from: Libera on July 15, 2019, 03:37:51 PM-I'm not 100% convinced on the value of mixing tenutos and slurs (like on beat 1 of bar 10) but maybe you're thinking something that I'm not (I'd guess it'd have something to do with emphasis).
-I know you weren't sure whether to include percussion or not, but there are actually some tuned As playing in bars 3-4 in the same rhythmic pattern as the percussion which would make a nice intro into the main loop, at least in my opinion.
-http -> https. (Have people fixing up old WIPs for submission lately [or just submitting old sheets I guess.])
-In the first two bars I think we're missing the 'punchyness' of the bass on those chords. Also it's making the chords in bar 2 sound off because you're actually missing the correct harmonies by missing out the bass notes there (F -> G I think). I think the solution would be to bring the right hand off of the high A early so it can play the chords and have the left hand move to a lower octave to play the bass notes. It'd be quite idiomatic I think as well that way.
-Speaking of those chords in bars 1-2, I think that they would be a nice place for a sforzando.
-The left hand chords at the end of bar 12 sounded kind of off to me when I played them on piano, but checking the notes they seemed right to me. So... I'm not really sure what's going on there but as I can't find anything specifically wrong it's probably fine. (It's probably just playing the chords in a vacuum sounds odd but in the correct context they're fine.)
-Something I just noticed and I really hope that it isn't like this on your template, but your copyright is slightly misaligned to the right.
- I added them because I wasn't sure people would notice the slur occasionally connecting the first 8th of a measure to the second 8th, but I think now that they're not necessary, and that I'll remove them. It
is a strange choice for articulation on the composers' part, though
- I'll see what I can do with those to make it interesting
- Ah! That WIP was older than I remember...
- Can you show me what you mean? Preferably over Discord?
- You're right, we'll work on those
- I imagine they're supposed to sound dissonant, but I think we should just have another updater verify them eventually
- that's another old Levi template blunder. Fixed, but don't worry; I modified my template to fix that months ago
Other updaters, don't worry about the stuff above; Libera and I worked on the intro over Discord DMs, and took care of this:
Quote from: Latios212 on July 15, 2019, 05:14:16 PMI think some low D hits in m. 3-4 mirroring the percussion would work really well.
However, while I appreciate the suggestion, Latios, I'd rather keep the measure/system distribution as it is right now. I like having the tempo change at m. 3 on a new system, and don't like how squished the measures look when the entire intro is on one line. I hope you'll be alright with that?
Files updated. If I forgot to address something I changed above, feel free to ask about it.
Quote from: LeviR.star on July 15, 2019, 05:53:00 PMI'd rather keep the measure/system distribution as it is right now. I like having the tempo change at m. 3 on a new system, and don't like how squished the measures look when the entire intro is on one line. I hope you'll be alright with that?
Ah this looks better now that m. 3-4 is more packed with stuff. That's fine.
But for future reference, I think an important thing to consider when dealing with measure distribution is the temporal density of each system in addition to the spatial density. Yes, it's very important to try and make sure the musical symbols are adequately spaced and that important section changes happen over system breaks when convenient. But it's also worth thinking about here how the music goes from 8 beats in a system to 14 beats in the next system, which can be a bit jarring to someone trying to read the music at a certain pace. Just something to think about.
Quote from: LeviR.star on July 15, 2019, 05:53:00 PM- I'll see what I can do with those to make it interesting
The general rhythm looks good, but as I said over discord I'm not a big fan of the run you have written in on beat 4 of bar 4. I understand that it's meant to emulate the drum roll, but I find that it's a bit too much of a deviation from the original for me. I know you've said that you want to make your arrangements less like transcriptions, and that's fine, we never demand that sheets be exact transcriptions (in fact in many cases it would be impossible) but it was my understanding that the aim of NSM was to recreate the sounds of the original pieces to the best of our abilities for performing on piano. With that in mind, I don't think the run is appropriate really and if you wanted to emulate the roll I think that alternating octaves would be a much better fit to produce a similar sound to that of the original.
Other than that though the edits look good to me. Although on a second listen I'm thinking that maybe there are bass Bbs on beat 2 of bar 2 but because they're in a different register they didn't stand out to me as much the first time. If you wrote them in as octaves it'd overlap with the Bbs you have written in the right hand though, so maybe just single notes would be better for those (or you could leave them out to emphasise the extra 'bassyness' on beat 3 I suppose.)
Quote from: Libera on July 16, 2019, 02:30:25 PMOther than that though the edits look good to me. Although on a second listen I'm thinking that maybe there are bass Bbs on beat 2 of bar 2 but because they're in a different register they didn't stand out to me as much the first time. If you wrote them in as octaves it'd overlap with the Bbs you have written in the right hand though, so maybe just single notes would be better for those (or you could leave them out to emphasise the extra 'bassyness' on beat 3 I suppose.)
I hear them now, too; that's a good thing to change. Fixed with single notes, thank you for pointing this out.
Quote from: Libera on July 16, 2019, 02:30:25 PMThe general rhythm looks good, but as I said over discord I'm not a big fan of the run you have written in on beat 4 of bar 4. I understand that it's meant to emulate the drum roll, but I find that it's a bit too much of a deviation from the original for me. I know you've said that you want to make your arrangements less like transcriptions, and that's fine, we never demand that sheets be exact transcriptions (in fact in many cases it would be impossible) but it was my understanding that the aim of NSM was to recreate the sounds of the original pieces to the best of our abilities for performing on piano. With that in mind, I don't think the run is appropriate really and if you wanted to emulate the roll I think that alternating octaves would be a much better fit to produce a similar sound to that of the original.
If you can show me in an example what you're picturing, I can probably be talked out of using the run I have. I just really don't see why what I have is so drastically out of the ordinary, I'm sorry. I know you're trying to help, so I know we can work this out.
Quote from: LeviR.star on July 31, 2019, 01:47:23 PMIf you can show me in an example what you're picturing, I can probably be talked out of using the run I have.
Maybe something like this? Though doubtless there are other options.
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/606969958559121409/unknown.png
Also, I know that the wikipedia article lists Kenji Yamamoto as a composer but it explicitly says it's missing a citation for him and I can't find any composer info elsewhere for this game. Maybe you found some elsewhere?
Quote from: Libera on August 02, 2019, 03:09:29 PMMaybe something like this? Though doubtless there are other options.
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/606969958559121409/unknown.png
Ohhh... what I pictured you suggesting was something entirely different. This makes much more sense, I'd actually much rather use that. Sorry about the confusion on my side, Libera! I thought you wanted me to turn it into something else. Fixed.
Quote from: Libera on August 02, 2019, 03:09:29 PMAlso, I know that the wikipedia article lists Kenji Yamamoto as a composer but it explicitly says it's missing a citation for him and I can't find any composer info elsewhere for this game. Maybe you found some elsewhere?
Last year, when I started this sheet, the Wikipedia article had not yet added that
[citation needed] tag to Kenji's credit, so I instinctively added him, as the GilvaSunner video didn't provide any composer information other than "TBA". Removed Kenji as a composer.
No worries at all. It's a great sheet, and has my approval.
Regarding the composer, Daisuke Matsuoka is who I recall crediting for my Puzzle Swap sheet for StreetPass Mii Plaza as well. This wiki site (https://nintendo.fandom.com/wiki/Kenji_Yamamoto_(composer)) often has composer info I don't find elsewhere, and here it lists Kenji Yamamoto as the sound supervisor.
So yeah, credits look good. I'm away this weekend but will look over the actual sheet next week unless someone else gets to it first.
Great sheet, just a couple of things to consider before I go ahead and accept this one.
- For the bottom layer note at the beginning of m. 6 and similar I would suggest making it a quarter, or giving it a tenuto. It's held for emphasis a bit longer than the sheet currently implies.
- Thoughts on adding a left hand part for the percussion at the end similar to m. 3-4?
Quote from: Latios212 on August 05, 2019, 03:39:49 PM- For the bottom layer note at the beginning of m. 6 and similar I would suggest making it a quarter, or giving it a tenuto. It's held for emphasis a bit longer than the sheet currently implies.
Yea, I agree. Tenuto added on all 3 of those places, and slurs manually adjusted.
Quote from: Latios212 on August 05, 2019, 03:39:49 PM- Thoughts on adding a left hand part for the percussion at the end similar to m. 3-4?
Originally, I thought that an underlying A rhythm would overpower the tied D's, but I think it should be fine (I also deleted the top A's in the RH). As long as you're okay with it.
Files fixed again. Thanks for the help on this one, guys.
Looks good to me. Let's get this one in!! ;D
This submission has been accepted by Latios212 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4344).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot